Girl Talk in "Bet Me"

"you just have to be practical, figure out what it is you want in a man, and then find one who has those things. Make a plan. Stick to it." Her eyes went to Cal. "Don't get distracted."

Liza rolled her eyes. "Or you could just fall the fuck in love."

"Oh,right," Min said, looking away from Cal. "That's like saying you could just fall off a building. Because it won't hurt until you land."

Liza drew back. "I just meant—"

"No," Min said as several people turned to look at her. "You have to be sensible. It's not silly love songs and sloppy kisses, it's dangerous. People die for it. People die from it. Wars are fought.Empires fall."

"Uh, Min..."

"It can ruin your life," Min said, shutting her eyes so she wouldn't look for Cal. "Which is why I'm staying friends with Cal, nothing more. I'd have to be insane to think there could be anything permanent. Masochistic. Suicidal. Delusional."

"Uh huh," Liza said.

"So that's my plan," Min said. "And I'm sticking to it."

Funny Scene from "The Cinderella Deal"

“I should probably start back to the inn.” She looked at Evan and batted her eyes.

Here's your chance, old buddy, Linc thought, and nudged Evan.

Evan looked startled. “Oh?”

Linc closed his eyes and sighed. He liked Evan a lot, but sometimes—

“Is it dangerous to walk back to the inn alone?” Julia asked, still looking at Evan.

“Well—” Evan stopped, helpless.

Linc looked around for Daisy. This was obviously her kind of problem, getting two people together. Unfortunately, he couldn't find her. That bothered him. She was supposed to be there with him. He was going to have to find her and explain that to her, but first he had to take care of Julia and Evan.

“Yes, it's dangerous to walk back alone.” Linc stopped to think. Just getting Evan to walk Julia home wasn't going to do it; he was going to have to actually get her into his apartment for the night. “But it's more dangerous at the inn,” he said carefully. “You really shouldn't be staying there, Julia. The doors don't lock.”

Julia looked at him with hopeless contempt. Well, he deserved it, that last bit had been feeble. He had to do better, but the eggnog was fogging his brain. What would Daisy say?

“They have rats,” he said suddenly. “Big suckers. They've been known to carry off small children. You're small, Julia. An especially big rat might grab you. And there you'd be.” He stopped. Where would she be? “Rat snacks.”

“Rat snacks?” Julia looked incredulous.

Linc shook his head. “It would be terrible, just terrible.” He drank some more eggnog.

They were looking at him as if he were insane. He'd seen the look before when Daisy had gone into one of her narrative fits in front of strangers. “So,” he said, winding his story up in a hurry. “You really shouldn't be staying there. We'd let you stay here, but we don't have any room. So maybe you should stay somewhere else.” He looked at Evan, who was looking like a bemused codfish. Julia, on the other hand, had the look of a woman on whom light had dawned.

Linc kicked Evan smartly on the ankle. “Have you got any room at your place, Evan?”

“Ouch,” Evan said, and Julia said, “Would that be too much to ask, Evan, if I stayed with you?”

“What? Oh. No.” Evan took a deep breath. “Absolutely not. My pleasure.”

Linc sighed in relief and looked around to see if Daisy had come back.

Funny Scene from "Dogs and Goddesses"

"Sam, How many women did you sleep with last night?" He squinted for a moment, as if tinking. Or counting. "Oh, my god." Shar went back to damage control. "You can't use people; you can't make them serve you. It's ... immoral."

"But it's our world now," Sam said, looking perplexed again. "Kammani has been called to rule it and we are all called to help her."

Wonderful, Shar thought, Magic tonic and divine sex, that's how they're going to rule the world. She looked at Sam again and realized that it wasn't a completly bad idea.

Funny Scene from "Crazy for You"

“What's with the haircut?” Thea asked Quinn later that afternoon, and Quinn said, “Sometimes you have to do radical things to make people really see you and realize you're not who they thought you were.”

When Thea turned thoughtful, Quinn added, “Which does not mean you should cut your hair.”

Girl Talk in "Agnes and the Hitman"

Maria shot one last baleful look at her mother and followed Brenda out the door.

“What's the Brenda Belle?”Shane asked when they were gone.

“Her yacht,” Agnes said. “She's been living on it since she sold me this place.”

“It's an old tub,” Lisa Livia said and looked at Agnes. “Do you believe me now?”

“Maybe,” Agnes said.

“Believe what?” Shane said.

“I'll tell you later.” Agnes picked up the phone and dialed. “I have to tell Taylor first ” Lisa Livia rolled her eyes, but Agnes said, “It's his personal business, LL.” She listened to the phone ring once and then Taylor's answering machine clicked on. When she heard the beep, she said, “I need to talk to you tonight. No excuses. Nine o'clock is good.” She hung up and turned back to Shane. “So Maria went mental on Evie and Brenda, then Lisa Livia told Evie she saw Xavier feel her up twenty five years ago, and now it turns out there's a chance I'm going to lose this house, and I'm definitely going to be up to my ass in plastic flamingos by Thursday. How was your day?”