Funny Excerpt from "Christmas Pride" by Shelly Laurenston from "The Mane Event, Pride book 1"

“Does she now?” Dez turned to Mace. Boy, did she look annoyed. “You haven't changed one bit, Llewellyn.”

He leaned back, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I never said I had.”

“But you did lie to me?”

“No. Missy really doesn't want me to come to her banquet. I simply don't give a shit.”

“And if that happens to play on my sympathies, you conniving bastard?”

“I know what I want, Dez. You know how I am about that. Remember the Ring Dings?”

She pushed her hands through her hair. He kept frustrating her.Good . “We arenot discussing the Ring Dings, Mace. Christ, we are too old for this.I'm too old for this.”

“So, say you'll come out to dinner with me and then I'll stop.”

“No.”

“I refuse to hear that.”

She turned to Smitty. “You tell him, Smitty. Tell him I said 'no'.”

Smitty gazed at her. “You sure have some pretty eyes, darlin'.”

Dez looked startled, then she beamed. “You are as bad as he is.”

Mace realized in that second the two of them were having a “moment.”Well, that's not acceptable .

“Jesus, Dez. What's that?”

Dez, following where Mace pointed, turned to look behind her. While he had her temporarily distracted, he took his other hand, wrapped it around the back of Smitty's neck, and slammed the man's head into Dez's desk.

When she snapped back around, Mace watched her innocently, Smitty gripped his forehead, and Dez's partner began to hysterically laugh.

“What did you do?”

Mace blinked. “Nothing.”

Epic Make Out Scene in "Thoughtless"

I stepped closer to him and ran my hand up to his chest; he closed his eyes at the contact. My fingers ran over his heart and his hand came up to hold my fingers there. “I never left you...I kept you with me, here.” I thought he was being symbolic with that phrase, until I remembered Matt talking to Anna in the kitchen. He'd said, “...right over his heart...” I'd assumed at the time that Kellan had done something romantic for another woman, but what if he'd...

I moved my fingers to the collar of his shirt and pulled it down. He sighed softly, but dropped his hand and didn't stop me as I stretched the fabric. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but then I saw the black markings on his once pristine skin. Confused, I pulled the shirt down farther. That was when my mouth dropped open in shock. He'd told me once that he couldn't think of anything he'd want permanently etched into his skin, and here I was, staring at my own name in beautifully scripted letters, right above his heart. He literally had kept me with him.

My own heart cracked into pieces, as I traced the large swirling letters.

“Kellan...” My voice choked up and I had to swallow.

He moved his hand onto mine and pulled my fingers away from his skin, hiding his tattoo again. Interlacing our fingers, he brought them back to his chest and then rested his forehead against mine. “So...yes, yes I do still love you. I never stopped. But...Kiera...”

“Have you been with anyone else?” I whispered it, not sure if I really wanted to know or not.

He pulled back fractionally, and looked at me like I'd just asked him something he couldn't even contemplate. “No...I haven't wanted...” He shook his head lightly. “Have you?” he whispered.

I bit my lip and shook my head as well. “No. I just...I just want you. We're meant to be, Kellan. We need each other.”

We both stepped together at the same time, until every inch of us was touching, head to foot. His other hand traveled to my hip as mine slipped around his waist. Without a thought, we both pulled each other even closer. My eyes kept drifting down to his lips and I made myself lift them back to his eyes. He was also staring at my mouth, and when he brought his tongue over his lower lip, followed by his teeth slowly dragging across them, my eyes quickly darted back down and I gave up trying not to stare.

“Kiera,” he started again, as his head angled down to me and mine angled up to him. “I thought I could leave you. I thought distance would make 'this' go away, and it'd get easier, but it hasn't.” He shook his head slightly as I started to get lost in the overwhelmingly wonderful smell of him that was enveloping me. “Being apart from you is killing me. I feel lost without you.”

“I do too,” I murmured.

He exhaled brokenly; our mouths were only inches apart. Our fingers against his chest disentangled and I ran mine up over his shoulder. He dragged his slowly down my necklace again. He whispered, “I've
thought about you every day.” I inhaled sharply as the very tips of his fingers traveled down my chest and over my bra. “I've dreamt about you every night.” The pads of his fingers trailed along my ribs, as mine reached around his neck to twirl around the hair at the back of his head. We both kept drawing each other nearer while he talked, still attracted to each other, almost subconsciously.

“But...I don't know how to let you back in.” His hand on my hip moved up my back and mine followed suit down his back. What I could see of his eyes, were flashing over my face, nervous and anxious, scared even. He looked the opposite of how I felt. His lips drifted even closer, until I could practically feel the heat coming off of them. My heart beat spiked and I closed my eyes when he whispered, “I don't know how to keep you out either.”

Just then, he was pushed from behind, and for a fraction of a second I thought I heard my sister's throaty chuckle, but I couldn't focus long enough to be sure. My rational thoughts were suddenly obliterated. Whoever had pushed him into me had closed the distance for us, and Kellan's lips were now firmly on mine. We froze for a good ten seconds, and then stopped denying what we both wanted and began to move together simultaneously - light, lingering, soft kisses that seared my lips and quickened my breath. I offered no resistance and completely gave myself over to him. I was his anyway...

“Oh god,” he whispered along my lips, “I've missed...” He pressed harder against me and I moaned slightly under his touch. “I can't...” His hand ran back up my chest to clutch at my neck. “I don't...” Our lips parted and his tongue lightly slid into me, barely touching mine. “I want...” He groaned deep in his chest and I found myself matching his sound. “Oh god...Kiera.” Both of his hands drifted to my face, gently stroking back my now freely flowing tears before clutching me firmly. He pulled back to look in my eyes. With a heavy breath, I returned his intense gaze, his eyes smoldering in a way that made me weak. “You wreck me,” he growled, crashing his lips back down to mine.

It was like someone had flipped a switch on us both. He pushed us back into the wall, his body hard on mine. My hands flew up into his hair, while his drifted over my chest and down to my hips. I was pretty sure we were going way beyond simple PDA now, and even though I knew some bodies were still lingering in this hallway, quite possibly my sister among them, with Kellan's hands, body and tongue on mine, I just couldn't care enough to be embarrassed. I savored his heat, his passion, the roughness of his stubble on my sensitive skin, and the occasional noises that he made, that were so suggestive and alluring. I brought him closer to me and wished we were alone in that backroom.

Epic Make Out Scene from "Rites of Spring(Break)"

 

 

Inside, it was cool and shadowy, and the fluorescent bulb I flipped on was of the variety that gave out only a dim, flickering, violet-tinted swath of illumination. Horror movie lighting. Perfect. A quick wash later, I was wrapping up in the towel when I did hear something outside the window. A definite footstep, then a few more. The door opened.

“Hello?” I called. It was just someone else looking for a late-night shower. Surely. I pushed the curtain aside and tiptoed into the changing area. Maybe they were scared, too. I tried again. “Hello? It's Amy here.”

A figure stepped from the shadows. “I know.”

Funny Excerpt from "Tap & Gown"

“What a madhouse,” said my mom. “We thought we'd never find seats here, but it turns out your friend had them saved for us.”

“My friend,” I repeated, still craning my neck over their shoulders. My mother has this habit of saying “your friend” in a tone of voice that manages to convey all of the following:

1. The individual to whom I refer is a person of the opposite sex,
2. Who clearly has carnal knowledge of my daughter,
3. But I'm not going to judge,
4. And I'm certainly not going to assume that their relationship is quantifiable by any pedestrian term such as “boyfriend” or “betrothed,”
5. Because who knows what passes for a romantic relationship in my daughter's mind,
6. A behavior of hers I wholly disapprove of, by the way (though as I stated, I'm not going to judge),
7. And while I'm on the subject, he'd better watch it. Just saying. Not judging.

Kissing Scene from "Trickster's Choice"

She remembered the time her mother had caught her kissing at a party for Prince Roald's engagement, and grinned. The boy had fled, not wanting to deal with Aly's mother when she seemed so displeased.

"Now look what you've done," Aly had reproved Alanna when the boy was out of earshot. "It'll take me weeks to train another one to kiss like I want him to."

"Kisses are serious things," Alanna had retorted. "You talk of them as if they're party favors."

Aly had kissed her mother on the cheek. "They're serious foryou, Mother," she'd said. "They're party favors for me."

It was worth the scolding that followed, about Aly's lack of seriousness, to see the shock on the Lioness's face, and to see her mother realize that kisses didn'thave to be serious. Of course, when Alanna had been in her best kissing years, Aly remembered, most people had thought she was a boy. Boys were never as free with kisses among other boys.

She sighed. They had the blood of Trebond in their veins, yet she and her mother were so different. She wondered if Alanna had ever noticed that. She definitely needed Da to remind her that life could be fun.

"Was he mate feeding her?"

Aly looked up at the fringe tree across the bowl of the fountain. "Nawat," she said, resigned more than surprised. Of course he would be here.

Nawat leaped to the ground and circled the fountain to sit next to Aly. "Is that mate feeding?" he asked. "It didn't look as if he transferred food to her tongue pouch, but it is hard to tell in the dark. I've seen other humans do it, only not this close to me. They do it in shadows, as if it's a secret."

"It's kissing," Aly explained, her mind half on how she had missed his presence in the tree and half on what she was saying. "Two people touch lips. It's mating behavior, but it's not mate feeding. It's—"

Nawat turned his head sideways and pressed his lips to Aly's. His mouth was soft and warm, his breath lightly scented with spices, his smell clean, with hints of beeswax and wood oils from his work. Aly's usually distant and observing mind focused completely on the feeling of his mouth against hers. She dimly felt Nawat hesitate. Then he brushed his hand against the side of her neck and cradled the back of her head as he deepened the kiss.

Someone laughed in the distance. Aly jumped to her feet as if launched from a catapult. "Yes, you've got the idea, but you should really practice on someone else," she told him, trembling from head to toe, furious with herself because, after all, she had been kissed before. "Somebody who isn't so busy, or, or busy..."

Nawat looked up at her, smiling slightly. For the first time there was something in his gaze that was human, and very male. "You said busy twice," he pointed out.

"I'm very busy," Aly retorted. She stopped and caught her breath. What was the matter with her? She was no blossoming girl-child, with no experience or sense of proportion. She calmed down. "But you can see, it's not mate feeding. Still, it's very serious, Nawat. You shouldn't go around kissing just anybody."

Now she sounded like her mother. Aly turned and strode down the path, away from the crow-man. She was doing her best to pretend that she was not running away.

Epic Make Out Scene in Obsidian by Jennifer L. Armentrout

“No.” Daemon leaned against the wall, folding his arms. “I want to get this over with. Worrying over you and the Arum isn't fun, Kitten. We need to do something about this now. There are things we can do.”

My hands curled into fists. “Like what?”

“Well, the jumping jacks for...an hour or so should do it.” His gaze dropped. Something flickered in his eyes. “You may want to change first.”

The urge to cover myself was strong, but I resisted. I wasn't going to cower from him. “I'm not doing jumping jacks for an hour.”

“Then you could run around the house, up and down the stairs.” He paused, his smug grin turning wicked as his eyes met mine. “We could always have sex. I hear that uses up a lot of energy.”

My mouth dropped open. Part of me wanted to laugh in his face. There was a part of me offended that he would suggest something so ridiculous, but there was another part that liked the idea. Which was so, so wrong it wasn't even funny.

Daemon waited.

“That will never happen in a million years, buddy.” I took a step forward, raising my pointer finger at him. “Not even if you were the last—wait, I can't even say last human on the face of this Earth.”

“Kitten,” he murmured lazily. A clear warning in his eyes.

I ignored it. “Not even if you were the last thing that looked like a human on the face of this Earth. Got that? Capiche?” He tilted his head to the side, and several locks of hair slid over his forehead. Daemon smiled, a wealth of danger in the tilt to his mouth, but I was on a roll
now. “I'm not even attracted to you.” Lie. Ding! Ding! Lie. “Not even a little bit. You're—”

Daemon was in front of me in a flash, not an inch from my face. “I'm what?”

“Ignorant,” I said, taking a step back.

“And?” He matched my step.

“Arrogant. Controlling.” I took another step back, but he was still in my personal space and then some. “And you're...you're a jerk.”

“Oh, I'm sure you can do better than that, Kitten.” His voice was low as he inched me backward. I barely heard him over the pounding rain and the thundering of my heart. “Because I seriously doubt you're not attracted to me.”

I forced a laugh. “I'm totally not attracted to you.”

Another step forward on Daemon's side, and my back was against the wall. “You're lying.”

“And you're overconfident.” I inhaled, but all I smelled was him, and that did funny things to my stomach. “You know, the whole arrogant thing I mentioned. Not attractive.”

Daemon placed his hands on each side of my head and leaned in. A lamp was on one side of me, and the T.V. on the other. I was trapped. And when he spoke, his breath danced over my lips. “Every time you lie, your cheeks turn red.”

“Nuh-uh.” Not the most eloquent thing I'd ever said, but it was the best I could come up with.

His hands slid down the wall, stopping beside my hips. “I bet you think about me all the time. Nonstop.”

“You're insane.” I pressed back against the wall, breathless.

“You probably even dream about me.” His gaze lowered to my mouth. I felt my lips part. “I bet you even write my name in your notebooks, over and over again, with a little heart drawn around it.”

I laughed. “In your dreams, Daemon. You're the last person I think—”

Daemon kissed me.

There wasn't a moment of hesitation. His mouth was on mine, and I stopped breathing. He shuddered and there was a sound from the back of his throat, half growl, half moan. Little shivers of pleasure and panic shot through me as he deepened the kiss, parting my lips. I stopped thinking. I pushed off the wall, sealing the tiny space between us, pressing against him, digging my fingers into his hair. It was soft, silky. Nothing else about him felt that way. I sparked alive, my heart swelled to the point of near bursting. The rush of sensations crawling across my body was maddening. Scary. Thrilling.

His hands were on my hips, and he lifted me up as if I were made of air. My legs wrapped around his waist, and we moved to the right, knocking into a floor lamp. It toppled over, but I didn't spare it another thought. A light popped somewhere in the house. The TV turned on, then off, back on. Our lips remained sealed. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other. We were devouring one another, drowning in each other.

We'd been building up to this for months, and oh my God was it worth the wait. And I wanted more.

Lowering my hands, I tugged at his shirt, but it was stuck under my legs. I wiggled down until my feet were on the floor. Then I got a hold of his shirt and yanked it up. He broke apart long enough to pull it over his head and toss it aside. His hands slid around my head, pulling me back to his mouth. There was a cracking sound in the house. A fissure of electricity shot through the room. Something smoked. But I didn't care. We were moving backward.

His hands were moving down, under my shirt, his fingers skimming over my skin, sending a rush of blood to every part of my body. And my hands went down. His stomach was hard, dipped and rippled in all the right places. And then my shirt joined his on the floor. Skin against skin. His hummed, brimming full of power. I ran my fingers down his chest, to the button on his jeans.

The back of my legs hit the couch and we went down, a tangle of legs and hands moving, exploring. Our hips were molded together and we moved against one another. I think I whispered his name, and then his arms tightened around me, crushing me against his chest and his hands slipped between my legs. And I was swimming in raw sensations.

“So beautiful,” he murmured against my swollen lips. And then he was kissing me again. The deep kind of kisses that left little room for thought. There was only feeling and wanting. That was all. I wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him closer, telling him what I wanted with my soft moans.

Our kisses slowed, becoming tender and infinitely more. It was like we were getting to know each other on an intimate level. I was breathless and dazed, unprepared for all of this, but my body ached for more than just kisses and touching—for more of him. And I knew he did, too. His powerful body shook like mine. It was easy to get lost in him, lost in this connection between us. The world—the universe—ceased to exist.